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Light Yagami vs John Constantine
LY vs JC.jpg|Simbiothero Light vs John Constatnine.png|InkSpider Opening Spider: Since the tale of Faust, many mortals have dreamed of harnessing otherworldly power through cunning and manipulation, but few are as adept at trickery as these two. Light Yagami, also known as Kira. Pixie: And John Constantine, the Hellblazer. Spider: I’m Spider. Pixie: And I’m Pixie! Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to determine who would win a Death Battle. Light Yagami Spider: Light Yagami had demonstrated incredible intellect and charisma from an early age, and while still in high school, he stumbled across an item that would ultimately transform him into the most terrifying and mysterious serial killer his world had ever known. Pixie: That item, of course, was the Death Note, a magical notebook dropped to Earth by a Shinigami (God of Death) named Ryuk. And why, exactly, did Ryuk allow an incredible powerful and deadly magical item to fall into the hands of a high schooler? from Death Note Manga Ryuk: Because I was bored, that’s why. Pixie (annoyed): …Hey, Ryuk, I know you’re busy being a god and all, but maybe you could take some time to check out this neat little comic book called “Spider-Man”. You might learn something interesting about, uh, power. And responsibility. And why those two things are supposed to go together. Spider: The Death Note’s inside cover explains, quite simply, how it works. If Light (or anyone else) writes the name of a human on a page from the Death Note, that human will die. This only works if the writers of the note focuses on the face of the human they want to kill while writing their name. Light has forty seconds to specify a cause of death, and if he does not do so, the person will die of a heart attack. If he chooses to write a cause of death, he has six minutes and forty seconds to write the details of their death. Pixie: This only works if the details he writes are possible and reasonable, however, but writing the details of a death can give Light the power to mind-control people into dying the way he wants them do. Considering that the Death Note has one-hundred percent accuracy, infinite range and is guaranteed to be lethal, this notebook is one of the most mind-blowingly overpowered weapons in all of fiction, and really, the mind-control bit is just icing on the cake. Spider: Initially, Light was understandably skeptical about the Death Note, but once he determined that it was indeed real, he vowed to use its power to make the world a better place by executing as many of the world’s criminals as possible. Pixie: Sadly, he didn’t stick to executing criminals for very long. Once the police started trying to hunt down the person behind all the inexplicable deaths, Light’s goal shifted from killing criminals to killing everyone who posed a threat to him in less time than it takes to eat a potato chip. This included a policeman who actually tried to save Light from a deranged gunman, and later, that same policeman’s widowed fiancé. You’re a real jerk, Light. Spider: That’s putting it lightly. Light has demonstrated a sadistic enjoyment of manipulation and killing, regardless of whether he is killing people because of their crimes, or because of the threat they pose. He is incredibly charismatic and skilled at lying, and managed to convince an undercover policewoman to give him her name is less than ten minutes. Pixie: Light’s also really, really damn smart. The guy got a perfect score on his college entrance exam without a sweat, which kind of makes me feel like crap for all the times I spent hours and hours cramming for an exam and couldn’t do better than a B+. He also worked for a detective team hunting down the elusive serial killer called Kira, who was actually Light the whole time. So he was smooth enough to work for the people trying to catch him and to pretend to try to catch himself every day, and still not get caught. Spider: Light seems to prefer solitude, but when he needs someone to talk to, Ryuk is always close at hand, watching Light. You see, Light gets to use Ryuk’s Death Note, but in exchange, Ryuk is the one who gets to claim Light’s life in the end. As a Shinigami, Ryuk cannot be seen or heard by ordinary human beings unless they have touched a page from a Death Note. Pixie: You’d think having a Grim Reaper with Don King hair constantly grinning down at you and waiting for you to die would make you kind of uneasy, but nope. Light doesn’t mind. Ryuk occasionally gives helpful little hints to Light when he thinks will make Light’s quest more interesting, but don’t think for one second that Ryuk is any decent kind of ally. He is perfectly willing to stand idly by while Light fails, and when Light was having trouble killing a woman because she had given him a fake name, Ryuk laughed his ass off like a hyena that had gotten into a tank of nitrous oxide. Spider: There is, however, one form of aid that Ryuk has offered, which is the deal of the Shinigami’s eyes. If Light were to take this deal, he would give half of his remaining life-span to Ryuk, but in exchange, Light would be able to see a person’s true name and the amount of time they have left to live. Pixie: Light refused to take this deal, on the grounds that he was such a slick bastard he didn’t need it. And honestly, it seems like he was right about that. Spider: Despite his cunning, Light has his weak points. He is normally very cool-headed and an immaculate planner, but when something disrupts his plans, he loses his composure, fast. He is also extremely arrogant, paranoid, and often blinded by his God complex. Pixie: Kind of hard to blame him for the paranoid part. You’d probably be pretty paranoid too if were responsible for one of the biggest strings of murders in history. It’s also worth mentioning that while Light is pretty athletic and carries a knife and gun (thanks to his detective work), he’s never really shown off much skill in hand-to-hand combat. But then, when you’re one of the smartest people in the world and have a magical item that can murder your enemies from across the globe, fisticuffs are usually pretty unnecessary. from Death Note Light: Just watch me, L. I’ll solve equations with my right hand, and write names with my left. I’ll take a potato chip… and EAT IT! John Constantine Spider: John Constantine’s mother, Mary Anne, died giving birth to John and his stillborn twin, who John had strangled to death with his own umbilical cord. He grew up with his alcoholic father, Thomas, who resented and mistreated John, blaming him for Mary Anne’s death. Pixie: Ooh, I can already tell this analysis is just going to be a barrel of laughs. Spider: Don’t worry, it gets much worse. John became involved with occult circles in London during his twenties. This led him to an encounter with Astra, a young, abused girl who had used magic to summon a hideous monster to take vengeance against her adult tormentors. The monster now refused to leave, and it seemed only John’s occult knowledge would be able to banish it. Pixie: So, naturally John figured that the solution to ‘monster’ was ‘more monster’. He convinced the rest of his occult buddies to summon a demon to fight off Astra’s monster. Take a wild fucking guess at how well that worked out for him. Spider: John’s friends lost control of the demon, and it dragged young Astra’s soul to Hell. Pixie: Good news is, John managed to free Astra’s soul using his talent for magic and just generally being a sneaky bastard. Of course, took him about twenty years to get around to that, but better late than never, right? Spider: Since that fateful accident, John has traveled the globe, sleuthing out and battling a multitude of supernatural threats. Pixie: While John may be a big fan of saving the world, his methods aren’t what you’d expect from a superhero. Rather than bust his ass doing the heavy lifting, John’s preferred method of fighting evil is tricking someone much stronger than him into fighting evil for him, usually Swamp Thing. This works pretty damn well, but John’s habit of maneuvering his allies into the line of fire has gotten more than a few of his friends killed or cursed. Way to nurse that guilt complex, jackass. Spider: However, Swamp Thing and John’s other allies are not always readily available to help him. For the purposes of this Death Battle, John will not be allowed to call upon his allies, and will only be allowed to use his own wits and the magical abilities he has at hand. Pixie: Which is a lot. John can detect magic and magical beings, though he usually can’t determine the nature of said magic at a glance. He can also read minds, cast illusions, see demons and other supernatural baddies and force them to reveal themselves, exercise demons, vanish, resist demonic and psychic attacks and perform small transformation spells. Also, I think the New 52 gave him pyrokinesis, but fuck that shit. John was never supposed to be the kind of character who ran around blowing shit up with fire, so we’re sticking to the Hellblazer canon. Spider: While John is an experienced magician, his greatest weapon has always been his conning. When diagnosed with lung cancer, John sold his soul to three different demon lords, knowing that if he died, the demons would be forced into a war over his soul that would leave Hell at the mercy of Heaven. Pixie: He’s also managed to con the First of the Fallen and the Presence, who are essentially Satan and God, respectively. Yeah, you heard that right. John Constantine pulled a con on GOD. If that’s not slick, I don’t know what is. Spider: While John’s accomplishments and abilities are vast, he is far from perfect. John is highly mentally unstable, and spent a period in an insane asylum, during which he cut off his own thumb. He is also an alcoholic, and this addiction sometimes throws off his schemes and his magic. Pixie: Like the time he drunkenly passed out in the middle of drawing a magic circle, which left him vulnerable to getting his bones nonconsensually jumped by a succubus. Spider: While John has cheated death in the past, it has been implied that he can permanently killed by certain magical items, such as the magic dart-gun his niece attempted to shoot him with in Hellblazer’s final issue. He is also very, very reluctant to use magic when it isn’t absolutely necessary, most likely due to his guilt over the tragedies his past abuses of magic have wrought. Pixie: And apparently, when a pair of Indian policemen caught him at the scene of a murder and kicked the ever-loving shit out of him, that wasn’t necessary enough. John could have vanished right on out of there or thrown up an illusion, but nope. Gotta keep the magic under wraps. Spider: On that note, John is not a very strong fighter. While he can occasionally gain the advantage due to improvised weapons or fighting dirty, his hand-to-hand is mediocre at best, and he has very few spells that are effective in combat against non-magical enemies. Pixie: Seriously, how many superheroes do you know have had their heads slammed into a toilet by an ordinary taxi driver? Spider: Also, while he is adept at manipulation and staying one step ahead of demons, he can’t always control the magic he deals with, and he is abysmal at protecting the ones he loves. Nearly every woman John has ever loved has died a violent death, and he ran away from his true love, Epiphany, to keep the demons that hounded him from killing her. After all of his adventures, heroism and struggles, John is ultimately doomed to be alone. Pixie: Jeez. You know, he might be a bastard, but I can’t help but feel a little sorry for the poor guy. He really got it rough. Spider: Tragic and vulgar he may be, John remains one of the most feared and cunning men to walk Earth, Heaven or Hell. shows John flipping off the trio of demons he has sold his soul to. John: Up yours. Death Battle! Spider: Alright, our combatants are ready. Let’s end this debate once and for all. Pixie: It’s time for a Death Battle! * * * Light sits alone in his bedroom. His family is out, and Light is staying behind with pretense of studying. In truth, Light is doling out his own personal form of justice, paving the way towards his rightful place as God of the New World. His hand flies dramatically across the pages of the Death Note as he writes the name of criminal after criminal. Ryuk is downstairs in the kitchen, munching apples. Outside Light’s home, John Constantine steps out of a cab. There’s been a slew of mysterious deaths in the area, and the crimes stink of supernatural influence. John’s willing to bet his left nut that whatever is responsible for these deaths must be a demon or a monster of some kind, and there’s no way he can leave this to the local police to solve. He’s still not certain what’s going on, but the house before him is putting off some bad supernatural vibes, so he figures it’s as good a place to start looking as any. John rings the door-bell. Two seconds later, impatient, he bangs on the door with his foot. As the door-bell rings, Light stands up and slips the Death Note and his pen into his back pocket, weary. As he starts down the stairs, he hears someone banging on his door, and he scowls, annoyed. “Rude,” he mutters. Light opens the door and scowls. The man before him reeks of liquor and cigarettes, and is ill-shaven as a beggar. “Who are you?” he demands. John draws his lighter and begins to coax a cig out of the pack. “I’m a detective,” John fibs, not quite making eye-contact. “There’s been a slew of mysterious deaths in the area, and I was hoping to ask a few questions, just see if anyone here had any useful information. Is your father in?” Light’s face remains blank, but his heartbeat quickens. They’re on to me, he thinks. This man must suspect that I’m Kira. '' I can’t let him get out of here alive. '''FIGHT!' ' '''Light fakes a look of concern. “My father’s not in,” he says, “but maybe I can help you.” He pulls out the Death Note and his pen. “What did you say your name was?” John begins to speak, but pauses. The notebook in Light’s hand is giving off some powerful magic, and John has woven enough spells to know that some nasty things can be done with a person’s name. “Hollis,” John says, smiling faintly. “Detective Alec Hollis. A pleasure to meet you.” Light smiles back, inwardly gloating as he writes down the name ‘Alec Hollis’ and focuses on John’s face. “The pleasure is mine. What can I help you with today, Mr. Hollis?” John doesn’t answer. “Mind if I smoke?” “Yes.” John lights a cigarette anyways. “That’s an interesting notebook you’ve got there. Kind of looks like you got it from a second-hand store. Am I right?” Light is beginning to sweat. ''Why is he asking about the notebook? Does he already know what the Death Note does!? “No,” Light says, thinking quickly. “It was a present from my girlfriend, Misa Amane.” There, Light thinks. Now, even if he does know what the Death Note is, I can feign ignorance. I can convince him that Misa is the one behind this all. '' John smiles. “Oh, you have a girlfriend? Congratulations, mate! You must be head-over-heels.” Forty seconds have passed, and John has not fallen over dead. Annoying, but Light has dealt with false names before, so it doesn’t throw him too badly. ''All I need to do'', Light thinks, is keep talking, act friendly. If I can get him to trust me, getting his real name will be easy.'' Light nods. “She’s absolutely beautiful. She’s the love of my life.” Curious, John takes a quick glance into Light’s mind to see if he is hiding anything to protect his girlfriend, and the result makes his stomach twist. Love, especially young love, is powerful, and John doesn’t sense any love here. Light’s words and face are convincing, but there’s no emotion inside that backs up that passion. Something is definitely off. John hesitates. This man is even younger than he was when he first started messing with the occult. John’s guilt tugs at his sympathy, and he feels the urge to help this young man. John stares down at the Death Note, his face grim. “Listen, mate. I want to give you a word of advice. There’s things out there that aren’t normal, and I get the feeling you’ve been playing around with those things. The supernatural. My advice is that you quit while you’re ahead. I’ve been down the same roads you’re heading down, and they don’t lead anywhere pretty. Let me help you, alright?” Panic is setting in, but Light maintains a straight face. “Alright. Let me go into the kitchen and get us something to drink. Then I’ll tell you everything.” John smiles. “Good to hear.” As John steps inside, the light inside the house triggers a whanging head-ache, and John grimaces and grabs his forehead. Nasty hangover. John’s beginning to wish he hadn’t hit the bottle quite so hard the night before. “Say, got any ibuprofen laying around? Mind if I borrow a couple? Got a bit of a headache. Trouble with my sinuses, you know.” As Light heads for the kitchen, he smirks. “There’s a medicine cabinet in the bathroom down the hall.” “Thanks mate,” calls John, heading for the bathroom. As Light enters the kitchen, Ryuk looks down at him and grins. “I see you have a house-guest, Light. He seems quite… interesting.” “I need to get rid of this man, now,” Light says. “He knows about the Death Note, I’m sure of it. I can’t risk him staying here any longer.” Ryuk shrugs. “Well… if you’re having trouble learning his name, there’s always the Shinigami’s Eyes. That offer still stands. Half of your life-span, and you’ll be able to see his name… of course, I’ll get to claim your life a whole lot sooner, but it’s worth it, right?” Light pauses. Just before he can speak to accept the deal, John steps into the far side of the kitchen, having vanished from the bathroom. “Hang on a tick. Mind if I make a counter-offer?” Light stares at John, dumb-founded. Ryuk slowly tilts his head. “You can see me?” he inquires. John nods. “Yeah, I can. Been demon-watching for so long now, a big fella like you would be hard to miss. So, about this deal.” “Shut up!” Light shouts, panting hard. John keeps talking. “You already get to claim this bloke’s life when he croaks it, right? The way I see it, the deal you’re trying to strike with him doesn’t really give you much you didn’t already have.” “What did you have in mind?” Ryuk asks. “I wanna cut you a bargain,” says John. “Gimme one page out of that fancy notebook and tell me this guy’s name, and I’ll trade you my soul. Hell, I won’t even make you wait around to collect it. I’ll let you walk out of here, soul in hand, and I’ll help you make an advance collection on this guy’s life. Sounds like a pretty juicy deal, eh? “Why would you give up your soul so easily?” Ryuk asks, suspicious. John takes a drag on his cig. “Better to draw than lose, if you ask me. So, will you take the deal?” Ryuk nods. “Very well. His name is Light Yagami.” Light stares, horrified, as Ryuk hands John a slip of paper. Panicking, Light draws his knife and charges at John, but John delivers a swift, sudden kick to the groin, dropping Light to the floor in balled-up agony. John looks down on Light’s face, scowling as he scribbles down Light’s name. “Had your chance to walk away, mate,” he remarks, his tone a mixture of sadness and wrath. John picks up the Death Note Light has dropped and heads out of the house. Forty seconds later, Light dies on his kitchen floor of a heart-attack. K.O! ' ' …But John has not yet paid the price of his victory. Ryuk advances on John, his hands outstretched. “Well played, John Constantine. Time to pay up.” John taps the ash from his cigarette. “About that. Hate to break this to you, but if you’re hoping on collecting my soul, you’re gonna have do a bit of standing in line. See, I already kind of promised my soul to these blokes here.” Three lords of Hell rise out of the ground to intercept Ryuk. As John walks away, smirking, Ryuk glares at him past the demons who have stopped him from claiming his prize. “Constantine!” Ryuk laments. “You… BASTARD!” John uses his lighter to ignite the Death Note, then tosses the smoldering notebook into a nearby trashcan and watches as it burns to ash. Post-Battle Analysis Pixie: Holy shit. An anime character actually lost!? Spider: Like Agent Smith vs Lain, this battle required a lot of thought. Light’s Death Note is far deadlier than anything in John’s arsenal, and while the two are both extremely intelligent, Light is far more mentally stable and naturally charming than John. Light is also far more willing to use supernatural power to its full extend, and John’s alcoholism, guilt complex and reluctance towards superfluous use of magic gave him a major handicap. However, while Light had the advantage in deadliness and ruthlessness, John had a very specific set of skills that were ideal for taking on Light. He was able to detect both the magic of the Death Note and Ryuk’s pressence, and his mind-reading rendered Light’s acting talent essentially moot. Pixie: Plus, as a habitual liar with an instinct for protecting his own hide, John was very unlikely to give out his name willingly, and his supernatural sensitivity let him know something was up far too early for Light to take the time to wheedle his name out of him. Light was smart enough to figure how badly John could screw him over pretty quickly, and he attempted the Shinigami’s eyes out of desperation. However, once Ryuk came into play, John had no problem turning the tables by suggesting a new deal with the Shinigami. After all, John cons demons and gods more often than most people do their laundry. He had no trouble pulling one over on Ryuk. Spider: Light ultimately resorted to direct violence in a last-ditch attempt to stop John, but by that time, his plans were in ruins and his composure was shattered. This left him open to John’s dirty fighting, and took away his last hope at triumphing. Pixie: In the end, John cut straight to the heart of the matter. Spider: The winner is John Constantine. Next Time on Death Battle Two sais clang together, sparking with purple energy. “Let us dance!” A bloody metal claw flashes across the screen. “HYOOOUUU!” Category:'Anime/Manga vs Comic Books' themed Death Battles Category:'Shonen Jump vs Warner Bros' themed Death Battles Category:InkSpider Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Magic Duel Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:'Anti Hero vs. Villain' themed Death Battles Category:Battle of Wits Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016